London Spring 2014: Good and Bad

London used to be a hot bed of ideas.
Season to season, you could count on a new crop of up-and-comers to dazzle the fashion world with a spectacle of innovation. Today, London is just as commercial and homogenized as the rest of the marketable fashion industry, and that’s a shame.

There were so few looks worth mentioning this season that I’ve combined them into one post.

Comments follow images.


House of HollandI never thought I’d like a House of Holland garment in my life and, let’s face it, this is a rather innocuous subject, but there is something about the dark floral that works on something as simple as a shirtwaist dress. I also like the fact that the model’s tattoos surreptitiously morph into the greenery.

Temperly LondonLondon was all about prints this season and Temperly London nailed it with this look. The color is brilliant and happy. The cut, although a bit obvious, is clean and flattering and the styling is perfect. This is a good example of simple not having to be boring.

Westwood Red LabelIGNORE THE HAIR AND MAKEUP! Westwood’s Red Label is her more commercial line , but don’t ever confuse “commercial” with “simple.” Westwood knows what her customers want and she delivered with aplomb this season. This suit is a classic example of why no one tailors like Dame Viv. The lines should be convoluted, but follow the body instead. The color should be mediocre, but is styled to make it look desirable. Pure genius!

PreenI NEVER pay attention to the Preen collection, but this collection and look quickly stole my attention. I love the cut of the skirt. It’s clean and complicated all at the same time. The lines of the cut are mirrored in the bold geometric print of the top beautifully. The styling and accessories are perfect and the overall balance of this look is amazing. This is my favorite look of the London shows!


Mary KatrantzouWhy is this model, at the Mary Katrantzou show, trying to smuggle a beach ball down the runway? My God! it’s like they shoved an air hose up her skirt and tried to inflate her gut.

JW AndersonWords are failing me right now.
Congratulations J W Anderson; you’ve rendered me speechless.
You miserable bastard.

GIL_7531.450x675The Giles Deacon show this season was all over the place. There were beaded mouth embroideries (complete with gap teeth), bats and photo prints. Now, in an experienced hand, these elements would work together to form a cohesive story; unfortunately for us, Deacon’s hands were tied behind his back and encased in cement. I have no idea why any woman would leave the house in a giant, deflated hot air balloon printed with faces staring at her crotch, but hey, I live in the real world and tend to focus on not looking like an idiot.

Emelia WicksteadThis outfit from Emelia Wickstead is either:

A – A pair of little girl’s pajamas from 1985

B – An homage to Beethoven’s secret longing to be a designer at Lisa Frank

C – A pointless outfit that has absolutely no business on a professional runway during London’s fashion week.

Christopher KaneDear Christopher Kane, If by “flower,” you mean “toss this bad seed of an outfit in the garden and bury it under inches of dirt and manure and pray the aphids chew it up” then yes, this is a HUGE flower and I’ll need my shovel.

AshishHey everyone! I found the Queen of Bullshit at the Ashish show!
All hail her royal crapness!

Honestly, this entire collection was just a terrible Jeremy Scott rip off, even down to the Coke logos. You know, if you’re going to waste our time with silly and outlandish nonsense, you should at least try to make things that people want to buy and NOT look like moronic idiots in.

OK kids, we’re off to Milan next, then Paris.



2 thoughts on “London Spring 2014: Good and Bad

  1. Gilbert, as always, you crack me up! Where does this stuff come from????? Do they really expect anyone to BUY these things? Oh, perhaps on the other hand, there is something wrong with ME and not THEM??? Don’t think so…………

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