Milan Fashion Week Fall 2014: Good and Bad

Oh Milan, how quiet thou were. I get that the Italian collections are always rather drowsy, but this season was a little too invested in nap-time. Still, the good shown through and the bad, well, let’s just say it was a little fuzzy.

Comments follow pictures.



Giorgio Armani.  Don’t get me wrong, I loves me some Giorgio, but seriously, all he’s been doing lately is going back to the archives and blowing the cobwebs off his greatest hits. They are good, but really, where is the innovation? Having said that, these two jackets are so clean and beautifully designed, I had to recognize them. I love the bound buttonhole details and the cut is insanely flattering. Now, Mr. Armani, could we please move on from this little trip down memory lane?


Blumarine. Overall, the collections in Milan were awash with obvious marketability, but there is something pleasantly fresh about this look. It’s the best, shinyest, disco dress ever and with just enough sex appeal to make even the most conservative dancing queen take notice.


DSquared2. Ignore the hat. I’m kind of in love with the opulence that the Caten boys shove on the runway for fall. I particularly like when they mix the jewelry into the clothes. It somehow works well for them. This look would be over the top on any other runway, but for them, it’s almost understated.  It’s a call-back to the 60’s with the elevated waist, but I could see this gown walking any contemporary red carpet with aplomb.


Gucci. I rarely ever give the Gucci collection a second glance, but this season was terribly good. The house focused on clean sophistication and this coat is the perfect archetype of that refinement. It’s smart, flattering and above all, completely wearable. It’s styled beautifully and this is a prime example of how simple does not necessarily equal boring.


Moschino. I’ll admit that I kinda didn’t think that Jeremy Scott was a good fit at the house of Moschino when I saw his Ramen noodle evening wear, but then I really studied the “wearable” end of the collection and it finally clicked – Scott is PERFECT for Moschino. The collection was good, not great, but good. There were plenty of hot sellers in the line-up and there were tons of pieces that hearkened back to Franco Moschino’s hey-day. Take this denim strapless number, for example, it could be a direct copy from the archives, but it’s cool, witty and above all, fresh. There were some low moments, as you’ll see in the bad section, but overall, it was a fun romp through reckless abandonment.

Ports 1961

Ports 1961. Rarely does a gray tweed suit make me sit up and take notice, but I couldn’t help myself with this look from Ports. The cut is classic, but updated. The fabric is practical for fall and the pieces, on their own, can be teamed with separates and changed up. Overall, these are great pieces with massive appeal.

Stella Jean

Stella Jean. This collection was rife with glorious prints with an ethnic slant. The lines were bright, colorful and above all, happy. Using color for a fall collection is always a gamble, but hopefully, the stores will see past numbers and invest in clothes that are fun to wear.

What’s with all the terrible fur?

Alberta Ferretti

Alberta Ferretti. You know what? What? Chicken butt!

And then we all laughed at the fact that this dress looks like a hen’s anus.


Fendi. Whoa honey, let’s get you back to the Soviet Union so you can harvest more wheat for the motherland.

Francesco Scognamiglio bad

Francesco Scognamiglio. “And next on the runway, you’ll see the designer’s inspiration was peeked when he watched Gorilla’s in the Mist and wondered why his models couldn’t have arms like that.”


Marni. Somewhere, in the world, a million, skinned Muppets shiver in the night.


Moschino. See what I mean about going a little too far over the edge? Scott is the right man for the job, but at one point, you’re charging $1200 for SpongeBob knickers and I guarantee you that no one will be laughing.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea indeed!

No. 21

No. 21. Somewhere, in the world, a grizzly bear shivers… DAMMIT!

I get that people want fur coats, but honestly, what is the point of wearing a Chewbacca bath mat on your back? Sure, it’s warm, but you’re going to get a ton of people asking you if Han shot first.


Pucci. A fashion equation!!

Pucci equation

OK kids, Paris is up next.


2 thoughts on “Milan Fashion Week Fall 2014: Good and Bad

  1. Just love your blog and your off the wall sence of humor! I like to design quilted clothing and am very proud that my red jeweled horse riding jacket stood beside your beautiful suit at Houston last fall. I live in a small town in Iowa and
    wearing some of those runway fashions would get me put in a nice nursing home. But they are so fun to look at and read your comments!

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