Haute Couture – Paris, Fall 2015

I’ve been absent way too long and frankly, that ain’t no good.
I’ve got a lot of updates in the works, but first, we must deal with the chaotic debacle that is Paris Haute Couture Week.
It’s off to a lumpy start, so I think it would behoove us to take this hurricane of insanity in little bites.
I’ll try to update the week on a daily basis, but as usual, I promise nothing.

Here’s a run-down of the nonsense, so far:

Ulyana Sergeenko

Coquettes lost in a Russian fairy tale. Yup, you just read that correctly. I can’t think of another way to describe this season for her. I honestly don’t understand her design aesthetic. It’s one part naiveté, one part ineptitude, one part poetry and one part WTF? There are lots of ideas here, the tiered circle motif on the pleated skirt being one of them, but none of them blossom into any semblance of a fulfilled thought. I feel that she does her best when she stops trying to impress people and starts focusing on the cleaner aspects of making clothes. Like a good sauce, you reduce and reduce until the simplest of flavors is revealed. Unfortunately for Sergeenko, one or two groovy elements in a reeling circus of confusion, does not a collection make.

Christian Dior

OMG WTF RAF?!?! I don’t know what grade of whisky you inhaled before designing this collection, but you either need to up your game or get off the juice altogether. Who the Hell wants this shit? I don’t know if you were channeling Dr. Frankenstein or you spilled ink on your sketchpad, but dammit, do some justice to the history of the house. At this point, I can’t tell if you are just messing with me, or if you really have no clue how to design a cohesive collection. I’m voting for the latter. To paraphrase John Waters, these clothes are so ugly, you can’t wear them with any sense of irony. Yes, there were a couple of pieces in the collection that were serviceable, but dammit, that’s just not good enough.

Atelier Versace

You know, I’m going to let his collection slide. It was such a departure for Donatella, I’m going to chalk it up to a grand experiment and give her some credit for branching out. Did the fabrics work? Well, no. They did nothing for the cuts. Were the embellishments of a couture level? Well, yeah, but she relied on the selvedge fringe a little too much. Did the cuts reflect well on the house? Yeah, but they could have been a bit more refined. Having said all that, there were a hell of a lot of ideas here, and I ‘m kinda looking forward to where she takes next season.

Schiaparelli

Well, this being the new designer’s first season, I’m willing to give him a pass on a collection that looked like a romp through the house’s archive. But, in all fairness, who can blame the guy? If I had keys to that warehouse, I’d be doing the Scrooge McDuck money dive into the clothes too. There are plenty of looks to entice new customers, and frankly, that’s all this house has going for it. They have a new designer every season, and for brand marketing, that’s probably not a good idea. Hopefully this guy will stick around long enough for the ink on the contract to dry. In the meantime, we can look at some beautifully rendered reminders of Schiaparelli’s illustrious past.

More to come…

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